sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
