I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
