Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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