I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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