I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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