my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm at about main and main street
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
