Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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