Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
