shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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