No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize