We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Less talking, more tequila
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
