i don't like sucking hair
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
