She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You pole danced in your parka.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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