My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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