OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
