This girl is more easily done than said...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
