Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
