Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
