is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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