I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
