Your tits are I can't wait for
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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