We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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