never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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