Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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