Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
