When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize