We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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