At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
