New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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