Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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