If that was your dad, he is hot
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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