Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
