..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
