Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
