Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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