Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I enjoy the company of your penis
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize