1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
