At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
