There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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