Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
