I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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