If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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