That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
