i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
