Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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