dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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