look no pants
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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