vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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