she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
