i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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