Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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