Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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