Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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