she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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