there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
