I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
