Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
