Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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